[yeah, no, emet-selch was not happy to know hythlodaeus had volunteered, but - it was their duty. they've always put that above everything else.
hythlodaeus is quiet, listening. and when xie lian is finished, he sighs a little, closing his eyes.]
It is good to know you found your friend for even one moment. I agree. To know that Emet-Selch is still alive is a blessing, though perhaps not in entirety. I should imagine he is... tired.
[and it's clear that hythlodaeus aches, thinking about that.]
Ahh, it is useless to think of what might have changed, I know, but I have often wondered if I should have taken his title in his stead. How different it might have been - how much rest he could have been afforded.
[ ...tired, yeah. he doesn't expand more on his next thought beyond the statement itself; ]
... Though I am certainly far older than I look, I am not anywhere close to as old as Emet-Selch is. [ and this was a point between them often - emet managed to needle at xie lian at the beginning because of it, though he decided he was going to continue to be optimistic and stupid no matter what - but immortality is immortality. and, if there's one thing he understands, it's this; xie lian's voice quiets a little further, and he gives hyth a soft, sad smile if he looks.
(as he remembers, emet's story about his son.) ]
...It is a terribly lonely thing.
[ eight hundred years of solitude, after tremendous tragedy and loss, was never something xie lian enjoyed. he just existed, until san lang came along. he can only imagine what it's like to be alone for emet had, and his heart aches for the two of them. ]
I think... and perhaps this comes from recognition and similarity, but... it will always be easier to think - "if it were me." [ the smile goes a little wan, there, and xie lian scratches his cheek. same hat! ] Either road that you could have taken would have ended in sorrow, to match the light your opportunity gave.
So - I think it will be difficult to step away from wondering, even if we know it to be logical. [ the same hat is too real!!
the wanness fades away, to a smile of warmth and kindness; of kindred spirits and recognition. ] But, if I have learned anything, it is that what is done is done, and it is ever important to hold onto the smaller, happier memories as much as it is our own concerns and care for those around us.
So... if you'd like to ponder on it, I'd be happy to listen - or, if you'd simply like to recount tales of lighter times, or hear similar of the ones that I know, I'm happy for that, too.
[as he listens, he thinks that he was probably right about taking his mask off. he feels comfortable, around xie lian, and he wonders if emet did too.]
I would be happy to do any of those things. [hythlodaeus says finally, tilting his head back.]
You are not entirely incorrect. Perhaps there would have been sorrow, pain, but I would much rather have had carried the burden of it.
[he glances down at his feet - where the shoebill has just appeared? it's just here now. it's still ignoring the both of them, but when hythlodaeus reaches down to stroke the top of its head, it doesn't move away.]
In any case. I have plenty of happy memories involving him, despite his nature. My hope is that some of what I remember survived the long years.
[a beat, and then a small laugh:] I've not even any idea where to start.
[ xie lian makes a soft noise of agreement, as hyth describes carrying the burden, because he feels exactly the same. he's carried the burden, after all - and it's only recently that he's tried to carry it a little less, because of how much it hurts san lang.
but, he's happy to let the conversation slide to the new topic, allowing hyth a moment to think.
... and then scoots a little closer to him. this energy. ]
How old were the two of you when you met? You said children, and - truthfully, it's almost hard for me to imagine Emet-Selch as a child! What sort of young man was he?
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hythlodaeus is quiet, listening. and when xie lian is finished, he sighs a little, closing his eyes.]
It is good to know you found your friend for even one moment. I agree. To know that Emet-Selch is still alive is a blessing, though perhaps not in entirety. I should imagine he is... tired.
[and it's clear that hythlodaeus aches, thinking about that.]
Ahh, it is useless to think of what might have changed, I know, but I have often wondered if I should have taken his title in his stead. How different it might have been - how much rest he could have been afforded.
no subject
... Though I am certainly far older than I look, I am not anywhere close to as old as Emet-Selch is. [ and this was a point between them often - emet managed to needle at xie lian at the beginning because of it, though he decided he was going to continue to be optimistic and stupid no matter what - but immortality is immortality. and, if there's one thing he understands, it's this; xie lian's voice quiets a little further, and he gives hyth a soft, sad smile if he looks.
(as he remembers, emet's story about his son.) ]
...It is a terribly lonely thing.
[ eight hundred years of solitude, after tremendous tragedy and loss, was never something xie lian enjoyed. he just existed, until san lang came along. he can only imagine what it's like to be alone for emet had, and his heart aches for the two of them. ]
I think... and perhaps this comes from recognition and similarity, but... it will always be easier to think - "if it were me." [ the smile goes a little wan, there, and xie lian scratches his cheek. same hat! ] Either road that you could have taken would have ended in sorrow, to match the light your opportunity gave.
So - I think it will be difficult to step away from wondering, even if we know it to be logical. [ the same hat is too real!!
the wanness fades away, to a smile of warmth and kindness; of kindred spirits and recognition. ] But, if I have learned anything, it is that what is done is done, and it is ever important to hold onto the smaller, happier memories as much as it is our own concerns and care for those around us.
So... if you'd like to ponder on it, I'd be happy to listen - or, if you'd simply like to recount tales of lighter times, or hear similar of the ones that I know, I'm happy for that, too.
no subject
I would be happy to do any of those things. [hythlodaeus says finally, tilting his head back.]
You are not entirely incorrect. Perhaps there would have been sorrow, pain, but I would much rather have had carried the burden of it.
[he glances down at his feet - where the shoebill has just appeared? it's just here now. it's still ignoring the both of them, but when hythlodaeus reaches down to stroke the top of its head, it doesn't move away.]
In any case. I have plenty of happy memories involving him, despite his nature. My hope is that some of what I remember survived the long years.
[a beat, and then a small laugh:] I've not even any idea where to start.
no subject
but, he's happy to let the conversation slide to the new topic, allowing hyth a moment to think.
... and then scoots a little closer to him. this energy. ]
How old were the two of you when you met? You said children, and - truthfully, it's almost hard for me to imagine Emet-Selch as a child! What sort of young man was he?